Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Couples Using Netflix

Okay, this is odd but i'm just going to put it out there. The question was asked today at work whether we knew of any folks who had experienced the following: a couple gets a DVD that they really want to watch together, but for one reason or another, one of the pair breaks the commitment and watches alone, perhaps with some lame excuse as to why.
Has anyone done this or had it done to them? What was the lamest excuse?

This, by the way, happens to me all the time. My wife regularly falls asleep 5 minutes into our movies and i tend to watch the rest of the movie and send it back. (She doesn't really like movies anyway). Anyone else got a story?

Turns out this question was floating around the office because the Washington Post had called and asked someone here. And today an article appeared in the Washington Post that addresses the question. I think the stories they found were better than my own. Read it here.


  1. Sure, it happens, but instead of giving the anecdote I'll hijack the overall topic by saying that this reminds me of a flaw in your assumption of personalization.

    Profiles, ratings, etc. all assume that you are one person. I, and none of my married friends use it like this. The primary profile is for both of us. The rating is some faked composite. It would be nice to be able to set individual ratings, perhaps.

    Likewise, none of our other profiles are really for an individual. One is overflow (we are way over 500 in queue), one is for series disks (again, for both of us to watch), etc.

    Rant off.

  2. My wife and I have had movies that we both want to watch and:
    * watched separately at different times because one of us got bored and tired of waiting
    * I've waited for a time to watch it together and 3 or 4 days later she admits she wasn't really that interested
    * I didn't know we both had it in our queues and I sent it back just to get it on her profile a couple weeks later

    We don't usually discuss our queues and just usually assume that if something comes that we're both interested in, we'll watch together.

    As far as the ratings go, my wife and I each have our own profile & queue, so there's no problem with mixed ratings, but I have yet to find a good (read: quick & easy) way to rate the movies I watch from her queue.

  3. I pass out sometimes and have to catch up the next day.

  4. Well, we might not commit to watching something together (he thinks I watch too many movies - the horror!), but the same rules definitely apply...

    I have often gotten something from the queue, started watching it and then had my husband walk into the room and say "You're watching [x] without me??".

    Or I'll watch something that I had no idea he was interested in, turn it back in, and then find him searching among the discs that I have on hand. And what's he looking for? The movie that I'd just returned that I thought he had no interest in.

  5. I usually have the opposite problem. My wife will rent something that's total crap and then expect me to watch it with her. Sometimes I can weasel my way out of it, but the other day I got stuck watching Miss Congeniality 2.

  6. Like shoobe01 said, Primary queue is for both of us. I think that is probably universal for most married folks. And probably screws up the system of Suggestions, etc. We both order movies, but I write all the reviews.

  7. I control all of the movies in the queue, don't give the wife the password and hide the movie right up until it's time to watch it.

  8. Our problem isn't with movies, but with television episodes.

    For example, She'll watch several BSG episodes in a row. When I come home she'll be on the last episode on the disc and I'll be desperately trying to not watch as to not spoil anything. It never works, I end up not being surprised by anything because I know the character dies or the silon attack is nothing... something like that.

    We've even had little fights about it. I think we need a Magna-Disca or something. Think MagnaCarta but about TV Series DVD's.

  9. My problem is that I'll get stuff that my roommate and I want to watch, but I can never get him to sit down and watch the movies. The movies just sit there for weeks (or months) untouched because I always wait instead of watching it alone.

  10. Basically our experiences are at either end of the spectrum. We both rent movies that each other considers not worth watching.

    I like to watch them as soon as I get them, while she likes to let them "age" on the shelf first. I like old action/drama from the 40-50s, she like new romances.

    Maybe once every 30 - 40 movies we find one we both don't mind watching.

  11. My wife isn't nearly the movie junkie that I am. Our primary queue is loaded up with movies I think she'll enjoy, mostly chick flicks as well as the new releases that were supposed to be big hits. There's maybe 70 films in that one. My personal queue is almost maxed out and I watch those on my own time, but on Sunday we sit down to watch "her" movie. If it's one I can't wait to see or if she gets all tied up in some Sunday Lifetime channel film fest about how men are pigs, I'll sneak a look and then act like it's all new when we finally see it together.

  12. I can save your netflix marriage.
    learn how at

  13. Yes. This happens pretty consistently between my wife and me. Especially with television series, but also with movies. I'm a night owl and have a lot less distractions than her (e.g., family commitments, work, school, etc) and so it's easy for me to clean out our Netflix deliveries before she even has the time - and by the time she does have the time, she usually falls asleep in the middle of them.

    If she really wants to see a movie, I usually wait until she's free. We often have conversations like the following, though: "What was that movie where...", her: "um, I have no idea."

  14. My husband isn't as interested in movies as I am so I'm pretty much the only one (except for some occasional requests from our children)who chooses the movies. So we don't have any problems over watching movies together because he doesn't like the same movies I do. I've asked him plenty of times to help pick out movies but he never does...

  15. Here's an idea, stop wasting your time asking retarded questions about "couples using netflix." Instead, get back to work and fix the Friends feature, bitch!

    "Anyone else got a story?" Yeah, I have a story.. it's the story of a dude who couldn't use his Netflix Friends feature because some jackass at Netflix was too busy asking idiot questions on his blog to get off his fat ass and fix the website. "But, but I added a link on the homepage!" Great, that was totally worth the Friends feature being down for 3 days!

  16. The netflix account is mine, but I do rent movies for my boyfriend from time to time. There are movies that we both want to see that we HAVE to see together. Anyone so bored they watch the movie w/o the other is in the hotseat LOL. It's happened on both of our ends a couple of times, and we've even tried to 'pretend' we didn't watch the movie ahead of the other, but ended up confessing our bad. haha...but overall, it doesn't matter THAT much. But it's nice to lay back and watch it together. :-D

  17. We watch movies together; more accurately, I watch and my husband falls asleep. In my opinion, he's missed his chance - especially since I've had to wait two days to see it in order for him to find some time.

    So I send it back. If he wants to see it, he can add it to his queue.

  18. Try 2 small wide screen tv's with private audio head sets and separate DVD players. That way you're "together" but not watching the same movie...different movies on separtate screens! voila!


  19. This is one of the main reasons that for the past five years by significant other and I have kept completely seperate netflix accounts.

  20. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has this experience. I must confess, I'm usually the one who watches without my husband because I get sick of waiting, and when we do occasionally sit down at the same time to watch something, he's asleep in less than ten minutes.

  21. My solution is to get "my" movies(chick flicks, foreign, classics, dramas) during the week to watch alone and get "our" movies (TV series, action, comedy) for the weekend to watch together.
    It also helps that I gave him his own queue so he can rent "his" movies (Adam Sandler, action, thrillers).

  22. Like "shoobe01", our family with three young children, have had just a single profile .... since way before separate queues were available. Finally, the kids are getting older; we are renting more movies for them and the personalization is really messed up for the adults. I -did- now set up a separate children's queue. But need some way to transfer all of the ratings that were done for them over to their queue.
    Surely, other people have the same problem (boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/spouse) who have lots of ratings, but now need to split them up for separate queues.